but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize