im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
