hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
