and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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