hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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