I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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