Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
