Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
