Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
