I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
