he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
