AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
