i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
