you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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