I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
