Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My cat gives me a boner
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
