Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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