Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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