We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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