You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
