Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
