How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
