she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Randomize
