I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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