i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
