Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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