Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
