seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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