i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
