i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
