whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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