One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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