Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
