you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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