I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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