I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
