I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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