some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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