So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
