Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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