ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
