I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
