I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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