For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
