I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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