I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
