y did u give ur computer a hand job?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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