it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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