mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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