you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
