I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
