Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
