Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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