hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
