hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
