What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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