my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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