When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
nutella sex= disaster
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
