Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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