is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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