maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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