...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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