I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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