It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize