let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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