I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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