my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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