He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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