I wish I could punch you in the face.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Your penis caused this!
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