His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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