And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize