I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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