Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
