whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
